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brief update...

just to let you all know i've not dropped off the face of the planet...

I've just had a wonderful two weeks looking after Daniel during the day as he was on his easter holidays. i think we both benifited from the time spent together and it did me the world of good :)

My dosage of citalopram has been increased to the mystical 40mg a day. it will be a week on thursday.... things are a bit ... um .... sqiffy at the momment.

i can sleep only when my brain dictates. and when my brain says i'm sleeping I HAVE NO CHOICE in the matter.

I feel myself growing as a submissive, and this makes me happy. There are various options opening up to me for furthering my training with Paul and i'm starting to feel morecontent about the relationship.

We went for a delicious meal with rikrose at TEOHS next to the tobacco factory. Which i'm hoping we can do again really soon

I've requested a full psychiatric evaluation and this time i have been referred [as opposed to what happened last time where i was told that it wouldn't do me any favours and to stop being so silly, and people wonder why i'm afraid to ask for help.] I'm trying desperately not to form any expectaions about what this will turn up. but i am hopeful it will provide a few answers and possable solutions.

I will leave you with something i've no doubt done before, but what the hell, probably no one answered it then anyway [humph!]

01:: Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
02:: Am I lovable?
03:: Am I easy to get along with?
04:: Do we have anytthing in common if so what?
05:: How long have you known me?
06:: When and how did we first meet?
07:: What was your first impression?
08:: Do you still think that way about me now?
09:: What do you think my weakness is?
10:: What do you think my strength is?
11:: Do you think I'll get married and to whom?
12:: What makes me happy?
13:: What makes me sad?
14:: What reminds you of me?
15:: If you could give me anything what would it be?
16:: How well do you know me?
17:: When's the last time you saw me?
18:: Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
19:: Do you think I could kill someone?
20:: Describe me in one word.
21:: Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same?
22:: Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
23:: DO you think I am a good friend?
24:: Do you think I will be a good parent?
25:: Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
dj_pooka
Apr. 20th, 2004 04:47 pm (UTC)
I thought about doing this survey, providing you with my answers, but I don't think I will. Not because I don't want you to know, but because I don't particularly feel that I can answer the questions well enough for my own satisfaction. Some of the questions are easy for me to answer, some are not...
goddesssnoweh
Apr. 22nd, 2004 04:33 am (UTC)
Cop - Out :p
dj_pooka
Apr. 22nd, 2004 04:36 am (UTC)
Blame my lack of sleep - I'll do it when I'm awake, not half-dazed and almost hallucinating.
goddesssnoweh
Apr. 22nd, 2004 04:41 am (UTC)
NO! DO IT NOW!
half dazed and almost hallucinating is Gooooood

don't listen to what the doctors tell you. they're all insane. like me. and that's scary.
dj_pooka
Apr. 22nd, 2004 04:46 am (UTC)
Unfortunately I gotta head out now - wandering out to Bedminster to go and visit my sanity keepers.

*laughs*

So you'll have to wait :p
goddesssnoweh
May. 11th, 2004 11:45 pm (UTC)
Do it now then. And include the answers cos i'm too lazy to cross referance.
dj_pooka
May. 12th, 2004 04:16 am (UTC)
Since you asked nicely :p
scoff
Apr. 21st, 2004 01:39 am (UTC)
Go on then, someones got to do it.
01:: Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. - FluffyWuffyBunnykins - because it will annoy you
02:: Am I lovable? - I wish I could say no but yes, you are
03:: Am I easy to get along with? - For short periods of time
04:: Do we have anytthing in common if so what? - 2 Kids
05:: How long have you known me? - About 9 years
06:: When and how did we first meet? - Horseshoe pub in Downend, feb '95 - you started kissing me for no apparent reason
07:: What was your first impression? - "you're drunk"
08:: Do you still think that way about me now? - yes, you're still drunk
09:: What do you think my weakness is? - letting little things start arguments - you need to learn to bite your tounge.
10:: What do you think my strength is? - Finally you can ask for help (it's about all i could think of at the time of writing)
11:: Do you think I'll get married and to whom? - Probably not again
12:: What makes me happy? - D & A
13:: What makes me sad? - Most things
14:: What reminds you of me? - You
15:: If you could give me anything what would it be? - A big smile
16:: How well do you know me? - probably not as well as i think
17:: When's the last time you saw me? - last week
18:: Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? - yup
19:: Do you think I could kill someone? - nope
20:: Describe me in one word. - flirt
21:: Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same? - stronger after a big dip, but not as strong as it was
22:: Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen? - You'd probably listen to everything (i think), not that i would discuss everything with you.
23:: DO you think I am a good friend? - yes
24:: Do you think I will be a good parent? - eventually
25:: Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you? - no
goddesssnoweh
Apr. 22nd, 2004 04:36 am (UTC)
Re: Go on then, someones got to do it.
>Smile<
scoff
Apr. 21st, 2004 05:11 am (UTC)
Ooo, thought of anaother strength: Resistance to hypnotism!!
goddesssnoweh
Apr. 22nd, 2004 04:37 am (UTC)
LOL!!!! that's because i was rigid with fucking STAGE FRIGHT!!!!!!!
dj_pooka
May. 12th, 2004 04:15 am (UTC)
01:: Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

I'm gonna be boring and go with Snowy. What can I say - it's too early in the morning to be that inventive.

02:: Am I lovable?

In an impish way.

03:: Am I easy to get along with?

Most of the time. You can be a little blunt and a little aggressive at times when things aren't going your way, but it's not that bad.

04:: Do we have anytthing in common if so what?

No comment :p (or if you'd prefer - sexanddrugsandrockandroll :D)

05:: How long have you known me?

Two and a bit years of watching you from afar, a couple of months of talking and stuff now.

06:: When and how did we first meet?

I have no idea - it's somewhere in the crazy hazy drug fueled days of, well *ahem* they're still here - but I think you started adding bristol people in LJ, we met up once (if briefly) in a club, then there was technobunny's after party.

07:: What was your first impression?

Pretty little bitch.

08:: Do you still think that way about me now?

*laughs* oh hell yeah!

09:: What do you think my weakness is?

Self-doubt, self-esteem and procrastination.

10:: What do you think my strength is?

Apart from being a pretty little bitch? *laughs* You're not afraid to say things - it can be a weakness too...

11:: Do you think I'll get married and to whom?

If the circumstances were right, perhaps.

12:: What makes me happy?
13:: What makes me sad?

I'm skipping both of these questions because I'm not sure I can answer them properly at the moment.

14:: What reminds you of me?

*laughs* Some music, a couple of films, and what's sat on my desk in front of me.

15:: If you could give me anything what would it be?

One moment of perfect joy.

16:: How well do you know me?

Not as well as you think I do, and not as well as I would like. You're good at hiding behind the words you write, even though you don't realise it; and I've not seen you around many people to judge that way.

17:: When's the last time you saw me?

Yesterday afternoon :p

18:: Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

*laughs*

19:: Do you think I could kill someone?

I'm not sure. Given the right motivation/provocation - yes.

20:: Describe me in one word.

No :p

21:: Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same?

Stronger.

22:: Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?

Now that's one I really can't answer. I hide many things from many people and there's only one person I can really talk to about anything - Paul (my sanitykeeper - not Taz). I said things yesterday that most people don't know, so I feel comfortable talking to you about some things I wouldn't normally mention.

23:: DO you think I am a good friend?

Yes

24:: Do you think I will be a good parent?

Yes

25:: Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?

Nope. I never do with these sort of things - I prefer to delude myself into thinking that I am great and everyone loves me :D
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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