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went to the doctors today and requested to be put back on the citalopram, as this is the antidepressant i was most happy with the results of. I'm on my second appointment with this Harry Normanchap, who is really quite a nice guy. very easy to talk to and friendly and all those nice things.

the problem with having been off the citalopram for so long is that i now have to start again at 20mg, wait two weeks then go up to 30 mg, wait two weeks then go up to 40mg. the amusing thing is, after sayingtome that i obviously know what i'm talking about, the doctor requested that i check back with them as i am ready to increase dosage just so they can keep tabs on my progress. She's given me a two month supply and wished me luck with it.

my life is currently, at best stressful. I seem to be doing nothing but upsetting people one way or another. I have a chance to leave the country, but after i got time to think aboutthis, i thought it was probably unwise to go to a strange country on nothing but a few promises without actually getting to know the guy first. i seem to have upset said guy too cos he is now uncontactable.

i'm not even going to start about paul. i'll save that one for a future rant.

i seem to have deeply upset pooka without even fucking realising it.



( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 19th, 2004 06:18 pm (UTC)
I love you,
I want to be with you,
I want to be everything you need me to be,
I don't know how I am going to do this.

You have the option to be with me or not.

I am fed up of being on the fence.

Be with me and work with me or not.

Mar. 19th, 2004 06:41 pm (UTC)
isn't it a bit late to be asking me for my help? i've been doing ALL the work to this relationship for thelast six / eight months. i'm fucked off with it. we've had this discussion. why you feel you have to air it all on livejournal i don't know.

Now it's your turn to do some work for a change.
Mar. 19th, 2004 06:39 pm (UTC)
I've been vague and distant about everything out of fear of getting hurt - not a good way to be, I know, but I've seen so much of my life disintegrate around me over the last few months that I couldn't stand anything else going wrong. I'm not upset with you, more upset with myself for not doing something about it all sooner.

I always build my hopes up more than I should - it's just the way that I am. I know it's a bad way to be, and that it never helps at all, but I can't stop it any more than I can stop caring.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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