Catharisis, Praxis, BDSM kink, and living in Ds
n. pl. ca·thar·ses (-sz)
2. A psychological technique used to relieve tension and anxiety by bringing repressed feelings and fears to consciousness.
3. The therapeutic result of this process; abreaction.
n. [NL., fr. Gr. ?, fr. ? to do. See Practice.]
1. Use; practice; especially, exercise or discipline for a specific purpose or object. ``The praxis and theory of music.'' --Wood.
2. An example or form of exercise, or a collection of such examples, for practice.
3. translating an idea into action; "a hard theory to put into practice"; "differences between theory and praxis of communism" [syn: practice]
Talking to a couple of people tonight, struggling in My own darkness, the topic comes up, "WHY". Why fight. Why give a dam. Why believe. More responding to My failing faith, they bring up the question of WHY. The unusual thing about it, is that the answer was already known. I was, again, preaching to the choir here.
We -know- why. Novice and experienced alike, we speak the same 'language'. The line where kink ends...and -living it- begins.
Nobody here will EVER say that the endorphin games we play are unimportant. I defy anyone to, after enjoying some very -intense- BDSM experiences, to be happy with the plain vanilla again, without making a lot of...adjustments.
However, those of us -living it- or trying to live it...understands something that is hard to explain.
How do you show a life to someone, explaining its not about sex...but it is -totally- sexual, sensual, and evocative.
How do you explain why sometimes, in the frazzled pace of our lives, in between bills and chores, and pta and all the rest...that the moment where, as I use often as example, just serving or being served tea, from one to another, is an act of *passion*
So why the rift in language?
Because you can -show- kink.
Go to a club. See the people flogging and being flogged.
You can *SEE* the release.
They scream and cry, moan and quake.
The endorphin high.
Now look around.
Harder to spot...are the people in the shadows. The people who seem to be more serious, yet more -relaxed- in this venue. Who watch, yet...seem to be in a world on their own.
See them outside the club. The 'meet and beats' talk about who swings a better whip or who can take whatever is dished out...
...the quiet ones...seem somehow to still be in that moment, a silent dance between two, to a music you can almost feel, but cant hear.
They -live- in the moment. Its part of their lives. Its in the flow.
Not a role, though they have roles to fufill. Not a game, though it is always played to win, and can only be won by BOTH of them.
Its the theory turned into practice.
Warts and all.
Trying to make it -work- in a workaday world.
But for that to happen...for that to even be aproached, one must -accept the possibility of it-
One has to KNOW that its not something to be put in a box, and only taken out when it's easy.
As much as some would wish, our psychosexual personas are LIVING parts of us. Stay in the closet, and part of you dies.
So, why do we have this similar language?
Because we seek the -community of peers- to keep from feeling so strange.
To talk about "how do I get alone time with Master/Mistress/slave/pet, when I got a colicky baby"
To bitch about what a cunt/prick your boss is, while your pet is at your feet.
To share a sense of belonging, so you DON'T feel out of place with who and what you are.
Catharsis is not Praxis.
You can have the moment's release...but it doesn't soothe the soul...
...it rips strips from you sometimes to live in the life...but living it...
*TRULY* living it...fills the soul.
Many of us are trying to show the fullness of Ds to those who...only understand kink.
Invite the questions, stand to the challenges, argue the points, show solutions where some may see only problems.
Expand the community.
If not just for them, for -you-. To put what you are into practice.
Catharsis only treats the symptoms.
Praxis offers the cure.