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Well, it's been a while since any coherent factual entry and quite a lot has happened in the world of me.

February 22nd i reduced my Citalopram dosage to 30mg/day after i'd been stable on 40mg for a long while. Unfortunately after about a week my general mood level started to rapidly decline. My appetite and libido vanished completely and it was becoming harder and harder to find enough motivation to do anything. My physical body was getting run down as well, my tongue bar started to irritate my mouth [which is generally a good sign of being run down for me] and i started to develop sore patches on my face, which i've had recurring all my life when i'm stressed or run down. I thought these were just spots, but my Master, fizzybean, had a look and said that He thought it was Impetigo.

It took alot for me to admit to myself that maybe i wasn't ready for the reduction and i really probably should go back up to 40mg/day. There was a doctor's appointment made for the Friday [18th] regarding the possible Impetigo anyway.

It turned out that my Master was right about what the sore patches on my face were and i was prescribed some cream for it. Hopefully it will clear up and stay cleared up :)
I spoke to the doctor whilst we were there about increasing the dose again and he was very supportive and gave me a nice long prescription.

So my Citalopram dose is now back up to 40mg/day. With this brief yo-yo apparently comes nausea, extreme tiredness and inability to concentrate on one thing for more than 5 seconds.

Some of these effects could also be the fresh implant i have in.
This was done at Downend clinic on the Thursday [17th] which is about a month after the old one 'ran out'. The nice ladies at the clinic let my Master come into the treatment room as well when it was being done which was very nice.
So i can probably expect to feel like i'm freshly pregnant for a couple of weeks to a month from that too.

I am slightly dissapointed in myself about needing to backtrack back to 40mg. But really, with how long i was depressed for before the Citalopram, i could very well be taking them for the rest of my life. This is something i need to become at peace with i guess. At least i have the support of my wonderful Master whilst i'm going through all of this, which will make the process a little easier.

This is probably going to be a long road for me and after i make peace with the thought of being on them for the rest of my life i need to start thinking about the fact that i MAY even need to backtrack again.

Baby steps though. I have to be ok with being on anti-depressants for the long term before i can actually decide what the right dosage for me is.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 20th, 2005 05:27 am (UTC)
I wouldn't be upset about "backtracking". I'd take comfort from the fact that I was aware enough to deal with the reality of the situation, and come up with a logical solution in the face of it all.

Call me a weird sonnovabitch, but I see more positives than negatives in that.
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:59 am (UTC)
It sounds like you're getting the right treatment at least; I guess it's just a period of self-centering before you can work out how to progress next *hugs*
Mar. 20th, 2005 05:04 pm (UTC)
*huggles lots* and you also know that there will be people out there to support you. I hope that you do get to feel better and there are people you can talk to ;)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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