Are you a fireball or a missfire? Take this fun quiz and find out!
THE NEVERENDING STORY
You find the question “how good are you in bed?” a little confusing, because you’re so rarely in bed. Over the bed, around the bed, in the car, behind the refrigerator -- almost anywhere you can balance long enough to afix the straps and turn on the machinery. To you, sex is like working out at the gym: you’re surrounded by a bunch of people you don’t know, and afterward everyone takes a shower.
Your sex life has grown and expanded to include things that only you can find erotically exciting, like toilet brushes and snow chains. You have managed to turn your entire world into one gigantic erotically charged lovenest, and anyone attractive you meet is mentally undressed within seconds, and then physically undressed seconds later, which is usually followed by, “wait; don’t I know you…?” And the answer is always, “no.”
If you need any advice at all, it isn’t in the arena of physical pleasure; you’ve got physical pleasure down pat, and down Barbara, and Dale, and the rest of the folks at the clubs you frequent. Lovemaking skills aren’t your weak point. But perhaps you should stop thinking so much about quantity and start thinking about quality. There’s more to sex than just the finish line, so slow down for a moment and smell the… roses, I guess
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