Snoweh (goddesssnoweh) wrote,

Sudden Unexpected Rant. Lifted from IM (edited for sensitivity) Preserved for posterity (ignorable)

i'm done with being caught up in her shit tbh
i'm supposed to be on fucking holiday
it's not that i don't care about ********
i'm just finding it difficult to see the point
mum will do what mum wants to do
there's nothing i can do to change that - i've found that out in the past year or so
the only thing that's gonna happen by me getting caught up in this shit with social services is more hassle for me, stuff being dredged up more than it already does every fucking time she phones me
<something i edited out here>
<Something else i edited out here>
i don't think i'm the right person to be askin anyway, being biased against the system and all
so i've decided that actually no. i'm gonna sit this one out. I've let Mother drag up and stir around all the shit inside me on a regualr basis my whole adult life
The easy thing is to get sucked in, have a shouting match with her, feel better for 30 mins then spend another 3 months trying to swallow all the crap that got dragged up back down
by which time ther will be something else
and then something else
the only thing in my life that seriously makes me feel old is doing that same fucking dance with her over and over. so no. i've had enough
i stopped answering the phone to her a cpl of days ago
i don't know
fuck it
we need to get together,
and talk about this shit, cos i'm damn sure i'm not the only one it's affecting this way. i'm talking about the general long term stuff that's eating away at us
i think i'd like to hear that someone else understands and i'd like to be able to say that i understand.
one day she'll wake up and she'll realise. but it's already too fucking late
i hate her so much sometimes, it just bubbles up from nowhere
and to have to listen to her go on about how it's not her fault just makes me feel ill

  • Small Life Update....

    ...and wanting to share the shit out of this video. For all those of you who aren't on Facebook I've been very quiet - this has been a good thing,…

  • For everyone not on facebook.......

    New Tattoo!!!

  • Watchout! Swearing!

    Do you realise you do this? As i'm serving throughout the day i become aware that everyone else in the queue behind the person i'm serving is just…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.