I reached the point where I don't need them any more.
I have a supply, incase it all goes pete tong, which i will keep around untill they expire. more as a security blanket than harbouring any intention of actually using them.
My emotional responses are returning to normal, My perception of the world around me is changing, becoming more real, more tangable.
I'm re learning how to deal with emotions and emotional stress.
I am happy. there are changes going on chemically that i don't fully understand but i have a general grasp on which is helping me manage what is happening to me as the longer lasting effects of the SSRIs wear off. You know me, overanalytical beyond the point where it's helpful to be anymore :)
Facing myself is something i know is going to happen as a result, facing my fears and demons, learning what makes me tick again, because for so long on SSRIs i didn't tick, I was levelled out and blank. This is a process that has already started happening and one that i am comfortable going through.
It's like i'm waking up. The meds provided support when i needed them to and i am at peace with that. I'm not viewing my 'getting off them' as something that should be done, or as a triumph. I needed the meds then and that was ok. Now i am ready to wake up from the sedative sanctuary they offered.
Expect to see more emotion in the few weeks (months..? i dunno) to come. I will be going through a process. It's all good :)
There are things i have to do. Things i have become conscious of that aren't doing me any favours that i have to deal with.
I'm becoming stronger than i ever have been & it feels good.
I love you all :)