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...The conveyor belt. It's not Tetris, Jenga or fucking Ker-Plunk. The aim of putting your shopping on the belt is NOT to make a wall taller than your cashier, nor is it to make a pyramid that the Egyptians would be proud of. If you are the owner of a fantastical WALL OF SHOPPING remember that it is a CONVEYOR BELT. At some point in the very near future it will MOVE. It's NOT MY FAULT that half of your shopping is now on the floor, it's not like you didnt' know your shopping was unstable as you were precariously balancing things on top of eachother.

Recently the store i work in has changed it's express lanes from '10 items or less' to a much less subjective 'BASKETS ONLY' This means YOU. If the thing you are carrying your shopping in has WHEELS it's NOT a basket. There are TWENTY-SIX other checkouts, at least two thirds of which will have some other poor sap sitting at them.

"You look bored / lonely" "Can't have you slacking off now can we?" "Were you waiting just for me?" etc.. I am guilty of having said this in the past to a person at an empty checkout desk. For this i am sorry.

Our store gives you a nectar point for every bag you re use with your shopping. The way the transaction process works means that it's actually more effecient (and less likely to get forgotten) If I add on the extra points at the BEGINNING of a transaction. This is just the way *I* do this, this is not store policy or the way we must be doing things now. My supervisors have actually commented that they like how i do it this way round.
now that you know all this, at the beginning, before i start scanning your items when i ask "how many bags have you brought with you today" Why, oh WHY on God's green earth do you say that you don't know.. (Erm, they are in front of you, count them?) Better still is the answer, well i dont' know how many i'll use yet! that's not what i asked! OMG. It's a simple question. Or you say "i'll tell you at the end" and by the time the end comes round you forget untill after i have ended the transaction and then moan that your bags weren't put on.

I'm not psychic. The customer dividers are there for a reason.

If the machine tells you to remove your card, don't look at me with all the stupid you can muster and tell me that it says 'Remove Card'. Just remove your damn card. When you have you just need to put the card straight back in again. I don't know what you are waiting for the card machine to do, but i'm pretty sure it's not going to do it.

We have recently been given a new batch of checkout closing signs. They are bigger than the other ones and the writing is clearer. They are also about half the width of the belt itself. When i have to tell you that i'm closing and point out the sign to you and you say "Oh sorry i didnt' see it" you aren't fooling anyone. The closing sign means i've been putting up with people like you for AT LEAST 3 hours. I may be going home, or on a break. Sometimes i may just be going to cover some other poor sap who has had enough of your shit and is going on thier break. Either way. I'm CLOSED.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 6th, 2009 08:51 am (UTC)
I see nothing has changed in the 15 years since I worked checkouts. Sorry, but don't expect it to change in the next 15 either (Apart from maybe everyone will be using the self service checkouts and your job will change to showing the same people how to use them everytime they shop)
Aug. 6th, 2009 11:48 am (UTC)
we don't have any self service ones at our store yet.. i have a vague memory that there used to be some, or maybe i'm thinking of a different store. There are many many more things than this, as you will know but meh.. another post :)
Aug. 6th, 2009 11:53 am (UTC)
And of course there are the individuals who stand out. Like the lady who managed to spread the contents of a split cat food pouch (it seemed to have been split in transit to the store and since had gone very rotten and was enough to make *me* almost actually throw up there and then) over her ENTIRE £120s worth of shopping. Or the old couple with thier marks & spencers credit card and marks & spencers re useable bags who thought it wasn't worth mentioniong that their bottle of *BLEACH* didn't have it's top on properly and was leaking all over itself... ugh.

Edited at 2009-08-06 11:54 am (UTC)
Aug. 6th, 2009 08:52 am (UTC)
There's something about going into a shop that makes people leave both their brains and their manners behind...
Aug. 6th, 2009 11:15 am (UTC)
I've thought about this (you get to think about *alot* of dumbass shit on a checkout cos you quickly run out of useful stuff) & I reckon people don't think about a supermarket being there *all the time* it's just an entity that's there when they go shopping.. this would actually go some way to explaining 80% of the crap they do whilst in the supermarket.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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