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Watchout! Swearing!

Do you realise you do this? As i'm serving throughout the day i become aware that everyone else in the queue behind the person i'm serving is just stood there STARING AT ME. Unashamedly!  Do i come to where you work and glare at you whilst you are doing whatever it is you do? How about we try it for a couple of days.. No? you don't like that idea huh? Didn't think you would.

I am a cashier. I'm not a babysitter, Nanny or an au-pair. It's not my job to look after your fucking children. Oh and FYI the security barriers are not climbing frames.

Eating things then handing me the sticky ripped up mess to scan? Fucking Ew. It's not my fault you can't manage your food intake well enough that you can't get round the shops. That's what we have a cafe for.

Kissing each banknote before you hand it to me..? (Yes this happens) Put it this way, when i finish a shift and i wash my hands the water is mostly black.. Why so dirty? Cash. Take some money out of your wallet and look at it... yeah.. Ew.

And even aside from my hands being filthy from handling cash.. I DO NOT want to touch your slimy fucking courgettes.
Put your shit in a bag lest it be eaten by the dirt on the conveyor, there is a reason they are coloured black.. That stuff you see us washing it with? it's bleach based.. pretty nasty stuff akshully. So yeah. bag it.

If i'm opening bags for you (Which i *don't* have to do by the way, i can just do it in a fifth the time you can) Trust my judgement. I think i'm better qualified to tell how many bags your shopping will fit in, after all, i do this EVERY FUCKING DAY.

On the subject of EVERY FUCKING DAY. Words. It's like you are rationing them or something.

These are the basic things i have to say in every transaction..

Hello! Do you need any bags? (sometimes - would you like a hand with your packing?)
*open bags* If you need anymore just let me know ok? <- that bit is optional if they've had bags from me


That's (insert price here) then please. Do you have a nectar card?
Ok, there's your nectar card back for you, if you'd like to put your card in the machine for me please.... and enter your pin.

Excellent! Here's your reciept (now as well) and your petrol voucher. Thankyou very much, bye bye *smile like you have a gun to your head*

That's the MINIMUM i have to say for a transaction. Normally i have to ask for a nectar card three times and show you precisely step by step how to use the card machine (like you've never used one before or something)

Normally i get a hello (or more normally 'alright love') sometimes i get a whole conversation and *occasionally * people actually say thankyou.
but alot of time i get people who manage (not sure how, it would take me some immense effort of willpower to manage this..) to not say ONE SINGLE WORD to me the entire time. I just get ignored, like i'm not there.  HELLO?

God damnit.

Just because i'm having trouble scanning it it doesn't mean it's free. Sorry you aren't the first person to think of that one.. in the last half hour.

If i'm sat on a till SERVING SOMEONE i can't go and see if we have anything out the back.

Common sense? leave it at the door please.



( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 5th, 2009 06:47 am (UTC)
Nice rant and again, all so true.
Sep. 5th, 2009 08:55 am (UTC)
Don't forget the lovely "let me just hold my tenner/nectar card in my MOUTH while I do my bag up. Then I'll hand it to you, because I know you really want to touch something I've just been drooling over..."

People are revolting.
Sep. 5th, 2009 12:26 pm (UTC)
or an even better one...let me cough all over my hand then pass you the cash from that hand! gross!!!
Sep. 9th, 2009 07:11 am (UTC)
Cashiers come in all shapes and types. Sounds to me like you are (after venting a little here :P) a friendly, attentive one. I've been through transactions where not only has the cashier not spoken to me, but has not looked at me either. I've managed the little check-out dance with them whilst they are busy talking about how 'Dave is such a bastard for not buying her a jumper the other day' with various other members of staff :)

I only ever once tried to make a 'funny joke' to cashier. They had new machines put in, and I just *knew* they'd heard something like "ooh, a new machine, you must be excited" 100s of times. So I tried it with some lacings of sarcasm, an almost camp exaggeration, to a chap who is usually quite chatty. Boy did I get the silent treatment. Lesson learnt!

From my not-so-wide travels of the world, it does seem terribly British to not talk to strangers. In our little forays to other European places, people seem much more willing to acknowledge other people's presence. Like, for example, going to breakfast at a hotel or B&B, walking into a corner shop, sitting down at a restaurant or cafe. These are all moments where many Europeans say 'hello!'. But not in England. Oh no..

(sorry that was a little mini rant of my own)
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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